the ever present about me page

I always hate these about me sections.  For one thing, it seems a bit futile.  How can I sum up myself in only a few lines?   For another, the point of the blog is for you to learn about me.   But for those of you who choose books by the blurbs on the inside cover, here goes….

This is me:

I survived what can only be called a train-wreck of a childhood – compliments of my abusive mother and her seven darling (does sarcasm translate well on blog?) husbands. During my teen years I was a true hellion; involved in sexscapades, arrests, with a few drug addictions sprinkled here and there to liven things up. All of that changed when I became pregnant with my one and lonely child, Ani.

This is Ani:

Cute, isn’t she? She’s my little yoda – full of sage wisdom, terrible knock knock jokes, and quirky behavior. I married her father, Ryan, when she was about a year old, because, well, that’s what you do, right? We moved to VA when he joined the military and set up house there. I learned that I’m not really cut out for “wifey”, that I can’t sew worth a damn, and that I make a mean pan of lasagna. And then I left him a few years later because he cheated on me. It took three years to actually divorce the guy and now he lives in another country. Good for me (don’t really have to deal with him now, do I?), not so good for the kiddo. 
**Ani’s father recently moved back to the States. I was worried that he would lack the maturity neccessary to step in to her life and become the father figure she needs – thus far he’s been excellent. He recently moved into a house of his own with a bedroom for Ani.

 Since then, I’ve been bunking with my dad. He recently joined a biker gang; which means there’s always a bunch of huge hairy bikers hanging around our house. It also means, because of my dad’s position, that they have to treat me with respect. Nothing better than a two-hundred-pound gorilla named Bonecrusher calling me ma’am. My dad’s got a girlfriend, whom I refer to here as Supermom, ’round about my age, and she’s got two kids. Ani is smack dab in the middle of them.
**My dad and Supermom are slated to be married in the early summer. Pops will be adopting Sammy, Supermom’s oldest child who was abandoned by her father three years ago.

I’ve also been on the endless hunt for “who I am”. And love. I date. A lot. You may get confused trying to keep up with all of the names – who is who and which guy sucked and which one was pretty a-okay but I sucked, etc. Don’t even bother. Maybe one day I’ll try to keep an ‘x-file’ again so y’all will have a reference. For now, here’s a little bit about the fellas I’ve dated since I’ve been divorced. I date mostly musicians, which has it’s perks (I have had five songs written about me, beat that). It also means I spend most of my time with broke ass megalomaniacs who refuse to grow up. No wonder it’s taking me so long to find the right guy. Right now, the names you have to keep up with are:
Billiam:

He’s my current long distance love.
**Billiam has survied a year and a half with me. He and I have had to overcome some huge problems that would destroy most couples. We aren’t most couples though – I’m not average and neither is he so why should our relationship be so? We are planning to move to his town at the beginning of summer.

And then there’s Jeb. He’s an ex that pops up every now and again. He’s on tour with a band that may be “making it big” and he calls once a month or so to tell me he loves me and ask me to go back out with him (usually these calls end when one of his five other women beep in).
**Jeb isn’t such a fixture anymore. He was one of those “huge problems” I mentioned that Billiam and I had. I still care for him but it was destroying my relationship so I told him we didn’t need to talk anymore. He was kicked out of the “making it big” bad after beating up the tour manager while drunk. The band has gone on to be featured in Rolling Stones and on Jay Leno. He? Is dating several girls and back to his usual antics.

As far as my family is concerned – they are all nuts. I mean capital N-U-T-S nuts. I have a twin sister who is paranoid schizophrenic. She’s always between jail, mental institutes, hospitals, and homeless shelters. I have a mother who is pure evil, a brother with a strong oedipal complex, and a handful of equally bizarre relatives that only show up when they want to make my life hell.

I’ve also got a best friend living in another country, Krispy, whose wedding I’m helping plan for next year (although I detest weddings).   Then, there’s Matt, my male best friend who has been in love with me for 12 years now.  Otherwise, I’ve pretty much dropped out of society after a very long and severe depression ate up most of my year. 

Between the therapist visits, the falling in love with losers, rearing a precocious seven-year-old, and warding off my family with crucifixes and garlic – I’d say I’m a pretty normal mid-20′s girl. I drink too much, eat too much, cuss too much. I knit toys, bake teddy bear shaped apple bread, and collect vintage dresses. I have several tattoos, and if you ask I’ll show them to you. I’m extremely introverted and spend most of my time hiding out at home.
I struggle with bipolar disorder and extreme social anxiety. I finally got a job in fall of last year at a bookstore. I love it!

That’s life as I know it. I’m sure I’ll add more because these, what? 400? lines don’t really seem to encompass it all.

 Contact:  breakdancebetty@gmail.com

 

**updated in red**